Bear With Me...

Bear with me while I rant just one more time about The Ex. Okay, "just one more time" really means "today" in Stephanie-speak. I realized tonight that I need to quit checking his facebook page on a daily basis. I didn't used to do that, until the whole middle-finger-picture thing, and now I feel compelled to check it regularly to make sure he doesn't have my children hanging off of a stripper pole or anything like that. But anyway, while he hasn't posted anything inappropriate, he has posted a few lies.

Here's my interpretation of a few of his facebook postings. This could be really funny, or it could be really catty in that ex-wife catty kind of way.

Woke up and the house was 48 degrees. After only a small fortune, a wink and a promise; a brand new motor resides in my attic to run the fan next to the furnace. This means either his girlfriend paid for the motor or his mother did. I'd vote for the girlfriend. Yet another reason I let him keep the house and then made sure I purchased a house with a 6 year old heating system.

What's on your mind?.......Shameless self promotion! An appropriate post for a narcissist. I'll get into that later.

Replaced the ______. Down-sized a bit ;) This was a post about him getting rid of the SUV and buying his mid-life crisis vehicle. The new smaller sports car goes fast and probably doesn't last too long, like his dick.

VCU!!! Ahhh, the eternal college student. I am so glad I won't have to worry about paying back those student loans. His girlfriend can take care of that, too.

‎3 for 3 for 3 I don't even know what this is. He had sex three times in three days and it lasted for three minutes?

Amusing what gets noticed and ignored... gotta' love honest feedback. This would be for the people who made not so complimentary comments on the picture of the children with their middle fingers up in the air, but then didn't comment on his engagement. I can only assume.

Happy Easter! Just finished one of the best sets I've ever played Okay, it was at church. Are you kidding me? Jesus said, let not your drum stick break, for I give you my rhythm.

enjoying an evening of dinner, homework, and games with my daughters. Life is good. Except he didn't do any fucking homework with either one of them. You lie!

What really concerns me here is that if I keep checking The Ex's facebook page he's eventually going to do one of those stalker apps and my mom is going to end up being his number one stalker. And then he might unfriend her, though I would have thought he would have already done it after I confronted him about The Picture. But it also makes sense that he didn't, because that's not someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder would do.

And that's the real crux of this post. Yes, I've called the man a psychopath once or twice. To his face. Okay, okay, maybe it was a little bit more than that. And maybe I was screaming. But now that the proverbial dust has settled, I've come to the conclusion that this was a misdiagnosis on my part. Silly me, I got my Cluster B personality disorders all mixed up in the unfolding drama of a separation and divorce. Oops.

He's not a psychopath. I've come to this conclusion because I know he was never diagnosed with Conduct disorder as a youth. However, after spending some time with Holy Grail of All Shrinks, I know what I'm dealing with. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Defined by the Shrink Bible, "A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:"

Here we go. Follow along with me.

"1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)         YES

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love    NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS ONE

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)     NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS ONE

4. Requires excessive admiration            YEP

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations            AND THIS ONE

6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends     OH, YES

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others       STILL A YES

8. Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her          AGAIN, YES

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes             HEY, ANOTHER YES!

10. Often mild to moderate paranoia, that others are out to do him in.      NOT SO SURE - COULD BE WELL HIDDEN

11. Predominant "name dropper" boasting or suggestion association with people or affiliations of importance."              AND UM, YES AGAIN

* See footnote below because I don't think I can properly footnote this thing.

So, our yeses are: 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 11. That's eight and the requirement is five. Buh-ingo.

I married a narcissist. And then I divorced a narcissist. It was all my fault, simply because nothing is ever his fault. It's cool. We will see how the next marriage shakes out. I give her five years, which would be exactly five years smarter than me.

And now, I've gone to Google. Can you believe that if you type in "how to mess with a narcissist" 234,000 hits come up? And this page could become my best friend: http://thebitchnextdoor.com/. Hey, they even have t-shirts and mugs! Holy shit, I need one of those!

Stay tuned. I've already got A game, but I might be getting ready to take it to the Ivy League level. 

* Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-IV-TR