Friday Night In My Head

A long week is done. The TV is on. Loudly. I am up late, sucking down Diet Pepsi and enjoying the weekend. As usual, lots of stupid thoughts in my head. And so, I shall share.

I had a great dinner tonight with Guy #1 at his workplace, except I didn't eat. I sat around with Guy #1 and his co-workers and marveled at the amount of food seven grown men can put away. I've promised to make them dinner sometime in the near future (read that as the next month or so) and I'm thinking I'll need to start saving up now. I didn't eat because I was still full from my late lunch, which was from my favoritist new upscale Mexican fast food joint, where you have many more choices than old run down Mexican fast food joint has ever provided. In fact, I don't ever go to the old place anymore unless I am dirt fucking broke and have no food at home. But anyway, I always get the three taco meal, and I SWEAR, no one (other than Guy #1) has ever really appreciated the humor of me telling the person fixing the tacos that I want two soft and one hard. Hard one in the middle, please. I really do this, every time I go to this place, and no one ever cracks a smile. Either I'm not the only almost middle aged woman rolling up in the place asking for two soft with one hard in the middle, or they just don't get it. I'm going to assume they just don't get it, but I'm going to keep at it, because that's my favorite meal and I am bound and fucking determined to get someone to crack a smile when I do that.

I have decided that life is so much more fun being sterilized. To all of you out there who have all the kids you need, or want, and haven't gotten sterilized yet, for god's sake, get it done. To hell with ongoing birth control. Just make it permanent and don't look back. Yet another post-separation decision that was THE BEST EVER.

I realized tonight that I haven't gotten shitfaced in quite a while. I got a nasty little buzz on New Year's Eve that had me feeling like I was in sugar shock for about fifteen minutes (and I had to go lay down for a few minutes), but I think that might have been the three or so jello shots I did right behind a half a bottle of wine. Maybe I should make sure the jello shots are sugar free next time, or maybe I should spend the day hydrating with lots of water and not diet soda before I drink. I haven't gotten throw-up drunk in years, 2008 or 2009-ish, and that was in my own car. Watch out if I've got your cell number, because I'm a drunk dialer. My eyes are so bad that I can barely see when I'm sober that I won't be texting you. I will be calling you and it will be just like my blog has come to life and is babbling about nothing at all. If I can't manage to tie one on before summer time, I am there the week (or day) after the children move back to The Ex's house in early June.

It looks like there might not be a government shut down after all. Has anyone else ever noticed this only happens when there is a Democratic President in office? Just like state guv lay offs only happen when there is a Democratic governor in office? Whatever. Either way, furloughs and layoffs suck. A lot of us work for the government because we can't do our professions in the private sector and we're pretty damn good at what we do, and we like what we do. We also sacrifice making good money because we want a stable retirement plan and affordable health insurance, especially those of us who want to get sterilized for a $100 copay. I haven't gotten a raise in five years and I won't get one anytime in the future. I will get a five percent raise this year that will immediately be taken from me to off-set the increase in retirement that the General Assembly decided I need to start chipping in on. I was furloughed for one day last last year, and my grand plan of laying in the bed all day long reading and sleeping was cockblocked by my older daughter getting sick at school. Since I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck (being that I work for the guv), I was grateful it was just one day. Now if we could just tap into our national reserves of oil and get the damn gas prices down, things might start to return to normal. Personally, I am not that concerned about the permafrost or the caribou, because I am too far removed, and I'm pretty sure the next time I pull up to the gas station there's not going to be a caribou there to insert his credit card in the slot for me. Nor will Father Permafrost be there to lend a hand.

I'm watching Three Kings right now, which I think is a great movie. I absolutely love military and war movies, mostly because I've decided that they just reek of testosterone. In fact, the testosterone just kind of wafts right out of the TV into my brain, and that makes me love men even more. I was trying to explain to Guy #1 a couple of days ago what an incredible bitch I used to be, and he asked me what had changed. I couldn't really answer then because I didn't know. I've thought about it and I've realized that it's because I'm not living with a complete dick, and I'm getting a regular dosage of testosterone in my life that's apparently just the right combination for my personality. Which might just be the first time in my adult life, and that's certainly a new experience for me. A good experience. Big shout out to Guy #1 for having that perfect hormonal-chemical combination. Note to Guy #1, ff you will just pop a war movie into the DVD instead of a romantic comedy (which I hate), you will see what can happen to me when testosterone wafts out of the TV and enters my hormonal receptors. It's like what porn does to guys.

A totally relaxing weekend, or it better fucking be. I need the courage to make it through to the first weekend of June, when I will send my children off to live with their father for the summer. It was giving me mad anxiety last month, and now I'm ready for my summer of not so much responsibility. I know the anxiety will come back, but at this moment tonight, I'm ready for my summer.