Huh?????

So, I've enjoyed a really nice spring break. Spent some quality time with my children doing a whole lot of not much, got some yard work done, helped my Other Mother with some of her stuff, spent some quality time with Guy #1 and.... introduced the children to Guy #1. And it went really well! Of course, I had been agonizing for weeks and months over this moment, and had cleared it with our child psychologist, cleared it with my mom (not really but it kind of sounded good), cleared it with Guy #1, cleared it with the children, and it was a good trip to Token City Pizza Place with Big Rodent Mascot. And by tokens I mean actual game tokens, not a racial kind of token thing. 

I had some more quality time with Guy #1 tonight, and then came home to collapse in the bed before I get up in the morning to go help Other Mother with her moving and cleaning stuff, but then I got on facebook. I thought, well, what the hell, I might as well log in to my mother's account and see if dickface has posted any updates of what he's been doing with the children for his allotted two days of spring break. Love you, Mom, for giving up that password!

Oh my god, The Ex is engaged. Whaaaaaaaaat? Whaaaaaaaaat? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. Hold on just one damn minute here. Let me get out my divorce papers. Holy fuck. The damn judge just signed the papers on March 9th. That's March 9th of THIS YEAR. And he made this announcement on April 21st. Of THIS YEAR. Oh my god, that's one month and twelve days after he just got divorced! Oh my god, what a complete moron. Oh my god, this poor woman has no idea what she's getting into. But really, that's not my problem. But back to the topic at hand. The Betrothal. Interestingly, it's interesting how few letters separate the words betrothal and betrayal. And beware. I guess if I mix all of that together on a Soul Train Scramble Board, I could probably come up with Boris Yeltsin. Mad word skillz. I am telling you.

But anyway, OH MY GOD! Who gets engaged less than two months after the divorce is finalized? I mean, really, who does that? Well, other than my ex-husband, who does that? Jesus H. Christ. I'm not even Catholic and I want to say a couple of Hail Marys here. Or something like that. I smell Epic Failure Number Three on the horizon. For him, not me. I've only had one epic failure.

I think this is just really indicative of the psychopathic and yet still incredibly needy nature of the incredibly overgrown 13 year old that I married eleven years ago. Either that or he's realized how expensive it is to Cobra my health insurance and he's decided that he needs to get married for the health insurance and so he won't have to file single-head of household on taxes again. But I don't think he's smart enough to get married for tax or insurance purposes. I think that this is just his way of not being alone. I knew this was coming, but I thought later this summer or in the fall. I guess the actual wedding will be in the summer or the fall. Who knows, maybe next week. I mean, fuck, why wait at this point?

So I guess the next thing, besides actually getting married, is to figure out who is going to move in with who. Will The Girlfriend sell her house and move in with The Ex? Or will The Ex sell his house and move in with The Girlfriend? I don't really care either way, except The Girlfriend doesn't live in the area. Luckily, thanks to her unusual last name and my internetting skills, I know exactly where she lives, what her house looks like, how long she's lived there, how much she paid for it and how much it's worth right now. Can anyone say underwater? But to her credit, who isn't underwater in this economy?

What's really weird is that I talked to the children tonight and nothing was mentioned about the nuptials. So either they don't know, even though everyone on facebook knows, or... they don't want to upset Mommy. Which really wouldn't upset me, other than me trying to figure out how to continue to be the stable person. Since their father can't really do it.  I won't even mention the picture of the children he posted on facebook of the girls blazing their middle fingers. Yes, that picture has already been placed on the very top of the "I-think-I-need-to-have-custody-all-of-the-time-because-you-are-too-incompetent-of-a-parent" file that may end up in Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court.

The saga continues... Stay tuned because this will surely get more interesting.