What I'm Watching

There are some things in life I have never denied my love for. Men, sweet tea, my children, reading, shit talking, and TV. Actually, it's a much longer list, but this will have to suffice for right now. Since I've banned the TV in the house when the children are awake (okay, I did give just a teensy bit for spring break, but not much), I have determined I have to be much more judicious in what I choose to watch when they are asleep or not here. I have to be selective now. I can't just be running through the channels all willy-nilly watching anything.

So here's some of what I'm watching. Some of it I'm not even watching because I keep forgetting about the shows and they aren't on demand (should that be capitalized?), so I am a little aggravated with myself for missing out on some of them. And no, I don't have the good pay channels, so this is just the tripe I'm catching on regular cable.

In no particular order, and not even alphabetized, because I feel like that would get on my nerves tonight.

The Deadliest Catch - Testosterone wafts out of my TV electronically when this show comes on. I mean, really, how can it not? I am a little annoyed that some channels have taken the whole "men-in-danger" genre a little too far, because honestly, I don't really want to watch Swamp People. Or Swamp Truckers. Or Ice Road Truckers. The Deadliest Catch was one of the pioneers of this genre (in the last five years or so, I would estimate), and it's still the gold standard. I've decided that I could be a great cook on one of those boats, but not The Wizard because that captain is a DICK, but I would be a good cook mainly because those men are so beat down, tired and hungry they'd probably eat anything and still be happy. Oh, wait a minute, I got sea-sick on the Annabel Lee when it was floating down the James River on a sunny April afternoon. Who the hell am I kidding?

Survivor - I think I've watched almost every season of this show and it still rocks. Boston Rob is the J.R. Ewing of reality TV. He just gets better and better with each show he's on. I think more reality shows need Boston Rob, mostly because he'd bring more viewers and it would just be interesting to watch. I might actually watch American Idol if he were a judge. I could never be a contestant on Survivor though, because I am too much of a princess. But it's still fun to watch.

The Real Housewives - Of anywhere, except Atlanta and Miami. I even liked Washington, DC, although I didn't like the blond gatecrasher. That woman does NOT need more attention. I don't care for Atlanta because it's too ghetto and I didn't like Miami because those women were just too blah. Orange County, New York City and New Jersey, you bitches are the bomb. But they're all preschoolers compared to...

MobWives - Trust VH1 to bring this little reality jewel to TV. This is a rough group of women wearing Louis Vuitton and Prada if there ever was. Every other word... bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bitch. Bleep. I wonder what the feds think of this one? Most of these women have husbands who are locked up, and I'm pretty sure if they were getting laid on the regular there would be a whole lot less drama going on. Getting laid on the regular, and correctly, would be key for these women.

Chopped - I don't watch cooking shows because I just think it's gay. I don't like most of the chefs who have their own shows because their egos are out of control, but this show is interesting. It's a competition of four chefs, going three rounds with mystery items in their baskets and a really severe time limit. I find it interesting that these people are able to make edible food out of Fruit Loops, fish heads, some strange piece of fruit not native to any damn where and something else no one has ever heard of. I mean, I wouldn't eat the food, but it seems to be pretty palatable to the judges.

Cake Challenges - Okay, this whole genre has gotten a little out of hand, but it's amazing what people can come up with and then attempt to execute in eight hours. How the fuck can they do that and I can't make an edible one layer cake in a whole afternoon? I suck. But not at pies. I rock out some pies.

Ghost Adventures - Interesting premise. Hot guys. I'm watching.

Paranormal State - Not as good as Ghost Adventures, and I'm a little annoyed that they only seem to travel to run-down blue collar towns where every day is cloudy and dreary. But still, something to watch if I can't find anything else.

So... this is what I'm watching. Or trying to.