Updates

I am so annoyed with Cosmo magazine. I was standing in line at the grocery store, working hard not to just outright murderize my children, and I look over and see Cosmo looking back at me. I don't buy magazines, generally, because why waste money or paper when it's all on the Internet for free? I do read the sex tips on the Cosmo website, though, because maybe one day I will get laid again. Anyway, on the cover of the latest mag... in big print? "Untamed Va-jay-jays". Are you freaking kidding me? Why, Cosmo, why? Why do this? Why put this word out there for the masses of teenage girls who really have absolutely no concept of how to respect themselves or their bodies? Except they've probably already heard it on MTV or whatever channel they watch now. Probably the Spice Channel. I must just be getting either old or old fashioned, because none of the other acceptable slang words are bothersome to me. Something about that term, I just can't put my finger on it. Regarding the topic itself, maybe women have just gotten tired of pube grooming and are returning to nature, I don't know. Maybe the depressed economy has finally hit the waxing industry. It's fine with me to write articles about grooming your shit, I'm totally fine with that. But to put it on the cover, in really big print? I read somewhere on the web, recently, a list of ten magazines that will cease to exist, largely, thanks to the web. I don't remember Cosmo being on that list, but I know it's all about money. Sales. Sucking people in. Well, Cosmo, you reeled me, but yet, not quite. I didn't buy the mag, so ha ha on you. Just one question - if you're going back to the bush, how can you vajazzle? Do the vajazzling people know about this? I guess you can always move the party upstairs. That would be simply nippazzling.

Got my car back. Ignition switch. Who knew that one simple part that I could order online for about $35 would end up costing $520? Plus the rental car I went out and got on Monday, for two days, to the tune of $225 and a tank of gas. But I sure screwed you, Avis, because the last thing you told me when I walked out the door Monday morning was that there would be an additional charge for driving less than 75 miles. Okay, I got the car to drive to work for two days. Back and forth from Midlothian to downtown back to Midlothian for two whole days. There was no way I was going to run up 75 miles doing that, and I think you knew it. I am pleased to announce that I managed to put exactly 160 miles on that bitch, from 8:00 on Monday morning to 5:40 on Tuesday evening. Gotcha. It was a nice ass car, too, brand spanking new 2010 Impala, fully loaded. I had a choice of a Malibu or an Impala, same price, so I took the Impala. Heated leather seats, satellite radio, On Star, sun roof, spoiler (although I ceased to be impressed with spoilers when I was exactly 24 years, 3 months and 28 days old). I used exactly none of the amenities, especially the heated seats, because it's August and my ass is already hot as a firecracker. I figure I'm worth that nice of a car. I'm done settling in life. Why take the Malibu when you can have the Impala? Why settle for less if you can find more? Seems reasonable enough to me. Yep, I am officially done settling. And yeah, it feels good.