I'll start this whole thing out with a completely random sidebar about Lent. I don't get the whole Lent thing. I mean, I get it in a textbook kind of way, but not a religious kind of way. I suppose that means I understand it theoretically, but I'm still foggy on the concept figuratively or maybe it's the other way around. This could be for two reasons: I was raised as a sometimes-Methodist, which meant that sometimes we went to church and sometimes we didn't. But when we did go, it was always to a Methodist church. I don't ever remember the Methodists giving anything up for Lent. I don't know why we never did that, other than maybe it required more than a sometimes-kind of dedication. I think it's to prove that we love Jesus or something about the resurrection. Again, we attended only very randomly so my knowledge is sketchy. I guess I started hearing people at work talk about what they were giving up for Lent. I think you're supposed to give up something that means a lot to you, or something that will be a real sacrifice. Guy #1, who is Catholic, told me he was giving up sex. Note to Guy #1: that was one quick epic failure. I've been a little disappointed no one has asked me what I'm giving up for Lent. Either these people really know me well or... they know me really well. I've got my answers all prepared. For Lent, I have decided that I will give up organized religion and proselytizing. I also plan to give up smoking crack, The Ex, and Suduko. Because that's how a sometimes-Methodist would roll with the Lent thing. We would only sacrifice the shit we don't do in the first place.
Today is Wednesday, which means that "the" envelope comes home in the older daughter's book bag with all of the stupid notices from the PTA on how they like to kill trees and send multiple notices home about the same thing, and all of the tests and quizzes from the last week, along with anything else that's graded. If my daughter gets a good grade, I am allowed to keep the test/quiz/whatever it is and file it in a three-ring binder so the younger daughter will get the benefit of studying for the tests and quizzes with the actual tests and quizzes. I felt like a fucking genius when I figured out last month I need to be saving all of that shit. Or, if the test/quiz/whatever it is has a bad grade, I get to sign the paper and send it back in, so the teacher will know that the parent has acknowledged that their child was an educational failure for the week. I know that's not really it, but that's sure what it feels like to me, since the parent is supposed to direct all of the homework and studying for the week. This sending shit back in with a parent signature is actually the school's documentation for when they refuse to pass the child up to the next grade and they can say that the parent knew about the bad grades. Children are not just passed up the food chain, because if they were, my younger would not be in a kindergarten class with the same little boy that my older daughter was in kindergarten with. Yes, it's that child's third year in kindergarten. And there also wouldn't be an EIGHT year old in my younger daughter's kindergarten class.
Last week wasn't a great week for my older daughter - she missed two days of school, one day because I was too sick to help her do homework the night before, and the other day she was legitimately sick. The math unit she was working on was subtraction, and honestly, subtraction sucks like division. I hate subtraction, and I know that it's possible to make it through college with minimal math skills because I've done it. In fact, I did it and still graduated one-tenth of a point off from graduating with honors. So me having this knowledge doesn't really help her, because part of me is thinking, let's just skate through this shit. But the other part of me is thinking, well, if I could actually do basic math maybe I'd have a fucking awesome career right now instead of just doing what I do for the guv. But anyway, educationally, last week was not our best week and I knew that when I opened the envelope full of a week's worth of tests and quizzes. And here's what I found:
Math chapter review - 62. Fail.
Math quiz on subtraction - 42. Fail.
Math test on subtraction - 41. Fail.
Word sort quiz (the new fancy way to say spelling) - 67. Pretty damn close to failing.
Dictation - 84. Holy shit the child got a passing grade.
Keep in mind this a 100 point scale, so anything in the 70 range and below is not good.
Ummm, are you fucking kidding me? By far, this is the worst envelope we've gotten all year. What the fuck happened here? Upon a closer review, it appears that my older daughter didn't even really try and she pretty much admitted this to me. Again, are you kidding me? I don't even know what to do with this, other than explaining to her in my not-so-nice-Mom tone of voice that she better start trying, because NOT trying is NOT an option. Regarding the spelling, she just totally blew four of the words off and didn't even write them down, and then admitted she wasn't paying attention during the test. Are you kidding me? I know they don't have Jersey Shore playing on TV during the spelling test, so where the fuck was her brain?
We have an appointment with her psychologist tomorrow and I'm letting him look at this stuff, because something is just not quite right here. We have struggled our way through second grade, and I'm scared of what third grade will have to offer. I take some solace in knowing that everyone else who's child has gone through second grade has discussed their child struggling too, and Mrs. Second Grade Teacher even admitted during our last parent teacher conference that test taking skills are not taught until third grade. That doesn't even make good sense to me, especially since the second graders take graded tests and quizzes throughout the year. My other issue has been that my older daughter was placed into a remedial reading group in November due to low reading scores, and if her reading is so bad that she has to be placed into a remedial reading group, then how realistic is it to expect her to read the tests accurately?
Something is not right here. When I went to the parent-teacher conference in January and asked about an assessment for a possible learning disability, I think I got a little blown off, but just a little bit. I got the distinct impression that the reading specialist and Mrs. Second Grade Teacher don't think there's a problem, and let's just wait and see. I also got the impression that if the problem were considered to be severe, it would have already been recommended. I'm sorry, but my child is not going to be the one to get blown off. I asked about having an independent assessment done, and that suggestion was immediately pooh-poohed with an "That's really expensive." I think that the issue is that if I get an outside assessment done, and if the outside assessment says something the school doesn't like, I've effectively fucked them because then they will have to acknowledge there's a problem and then they will have to do something. And this isn't one of those Munchhausen situations, which I think most teachers probably assume anyway. I wanted to explain to Mrs. Second Grade Teacher that I don't really want any attention from my child doing poorly. I want them to determine if there is a problem and then work to do something about it. Not wait and see. I just don't know how much longer I can deal with my daughter looking at a word in a book and calling it a whole other word that isn't even in the damn book. I don't know how much longer I can deal with my daughter reading words that aren't there, and how much longer I can deal with her sometime-inability to pay attention in class. I don't know how much longer I can deal with the inconsistent grades, and not knowing if the school is really and truly doing everything they can to make my daughter's education a worthwhile endeavor.
So I'll be talking with the child psychologist tomorrow to see if I can figure out how to get an outside assessment done for reading disabilities, possible ADD and whatever else might be going on in her little brain.
5 comments:
Kids are funny because when we think they are not learning something or having a hard time grasping something the following year comes up and the problems that were there are no longer and it maybe just because they are a smidge more mature than the previous year I don't know
My 6th grade son could get straight A's and all the teachers know it instead he's getting D's and F's with ABC's on the side. He doesn't pay attention doesn't try doesn't care. The teachers hate it and to their credit 2 routinely talk with me still having faith they can remedy my son. My son played the 'but you guys broke up and life sucks card' recently to which I replied there would be sympathy for that if it started after we broke up not 10 yrs ago. I'm afraid my son is for one a product of our dysfunctional existence his whole life through and has by 6 or 8 lost all motivation for life. That's fucking sad. Anyway we plug along with wise words from me about how its no fun to just screw yourself which is what he's best talented at. Soooooo I feel ya
I know I helped with homework just the one time, but here's my impressions for what they're worth. she could do quite a bit of it with no help from me. She did about 90% of the subtraction homework on her own, and just needed help with a couple of the more difficult ones, but with just a little solved them just fine. I know you had been practicing with the words some, but she did all but two of them perfectly. She sometimes forgets about vowels, but hey, she's just in second grade. She had a little trouble staying focused, but not too much. It seemed like normal 8 year old behavior to me. In my not very experienced opinion, it feels more like it could be a motivation problem rather than a learning issue. She's pretty smart and she has a good verbal vocabulary. It's a good thing that you're jumping on this now. Motivation may be more difficult to address than learning issues, so the earlier youstart the better. If I can help, let me know. Keep us posted.
My real concern here is her reading. So I consulted with the psychologist and he agreed that I should seek an outside educational assessment, because the school is going to take care of the worst problems first and all the other kids can just wait in line. And she is FULLY aware that she had BETTER not bring any more grades home that look the ones in the envelope, at least not all at one time.
It also doesn't help that my older daughter has a hate-hate relationship with Mrs. Second Grade Teacher and the only thing that could motivate my daughter at this point would be learning that Mrs. Second Grade Teacher suddenly ceased being her teacher. But I've explained this is good to experience now, because she'll probably have a boss just like this woman at some point in her life.
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