Stupid Link of the Day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_flag_(LGBT_movement)

There's a joke in here somewhere, but I just can't seem to find it yet. Since nothing will turn me off like a hairy man, there's something trainwreck-ish and rubbernecky about me reading strange articles about the "Bear Movement". I saw a guy at the pool a couple of years ago, and he might have been the hairiest bastard I have ever seen. He had smeared white zinc sunscreen all over him, and his hair was all matted down and swirled around in the festering summer sun, and I threw up a just little bit in my mouth. Guy #1 has no idea how happy he should be that he's not hairy.

I find it interesting that there's a flag and a symbol for everything out there.

If I were to come up with my own flag, it would be... white. I would frantically wave the white Calgon flag, with a little flower in the corner, and hope that Calgon would come and take me away. Or maybe it would have the middle finger on it. That flag would say, "Fuck you, I quit." Maybe a can of hairspray. "I quit but let me make sure my hair looks good on the way out."

And good god, check this link out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanky_code

Scroll down the second chart. I was going to say the bottom chart, but in the context of the article, that really wasn't the right description. Okay, I work with some deviant people and I don't know anyone who does half of that shit. Okay, okay, so the cigar thing was done by a President, and god only knows what the Kennedy's were really doing, but flagging yourself with a Jolly Roger handkerchief? Can you even buy Jolly Roger handkerchiefs? My younger daughter told me the other day that she wanted to be a pirate when she grew up. I explained that her best bet would be to secure employment for a large federal government /military contracting company, or to go into that ubiquitous field of "International Security". But back to the handkerchief thing. I bet if some of the street gangs in America knew that a red handkerchief stood for fisting, they'd switch colors mighty damn quick. Or a navy blue handkerchief stood for the backdoor, we'd have a lot less gang crimes out there.

In fact, I think that most law enforcement working on gang suppression should find a way to print and laminate little "Hanky Code Cards" and hand them out during mass arrests and search and seizure operations. Homophobia shall conquer and triumph over the street gang criminality. This can work, I just know it. Seriously. I'm on to something here.

Somehow this whole Stupid Link of the Day just kind of disingrated into Stupid Shit. Ahhh, if only everyone could live in my head for a couple of days.