Last night, I was farting around online, and of course they have a chat capability, because everyone does these days. Yo' site ain't shit wif no chat, baby! But I wasn't really looking to chat, but couldn't figure out how to turn the chat option off. The first guy who selected me as a favorite, and that is so WEIRD because how the fuck I am his favorite?????, anyway, he wanted to chat me up. So we chatted for a few, and then he asked what type of men I like. I wanted to say, not your type, but why be a rude bitch so early on into the game? I gave him my answer, tried to be somewhat vague and three minutes later he had a snarky comment about it. Okay, dickhead, don't get angry that you're not that type. It's cool, just move the fuck on. I think this guy has some insecurity issues. Lucky for me, I was married to someone like that and I can smell that shit a mile away. And he wasn't my type.
And then, another guy wanted to chat. No picture. Uh oh. He did have a better personality than the first guy, but still no picture. Uh oh. And he didn't want to post one up. I thought to myself, okay, you need to go away now because I am a shallow bitch when it comes to looks. I figure that on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, I'm about a seven. Maybe an eight on a good hair and ass day. But I won't date anyone that I rate to be below me or above me by more than two. So if I'm a seven, I won't go lower than five and higher than nine. It just messes up the natural order of things, and that's about as mathematical as I can get, although I wish I could work some probability and statistics in there regarding getting laid and so forth. Anyway, my rating scale is totally subjective to me, and I never ask the man what he would rate himself at, or what he would rate me at, because that's an argument looking for a beginning. This just only happens in my head. Suffice it to say, I won't date someone freakishly better looking than me (a ten) because I'll wonder how much longer until I get thrown to the side for a better looking woman, and I won't go lower than a five because I just won't get involved with ugly men. Can't do, won't do it. There are ugly women out there for that.
What I am glad of is that I've spent so much time trolling around on craigslist, because there's some crossover here. I know the craigslist guys on this site and can avoid them like the plague. I also know who has given some women sexually transmitted diseases (thanks for the warnings, girls, but you need to have him wrap.that.junk.up) and can steer clear of them, as well. What I can't do is identify the penis pics on craigslist to some of these men. Hmmm, that's a shame because there's probably some crossover there, too. I wonder what Cockzilla looks like from the torso up?
As of right now, I've collected about five emails and eleven men who want to meet me, plus the two guys who have me listed as a favorite. Regarding the eleven men who want to meet me, well, thanks, fellas, but I don't really want to meet any of you. As for the other guy who added me as a favorite, we chatted last night and he finally emailed me a teensy-tinsy thumbnail pic. Not my type. Nice personality, but from what I could see from squinting and pressing my nose onto the computer monitor, he's about a three. So not for me. I've determined that ultimately, this is not the dating website for me, but the one I want to join doesn't allow anyone who isn't legally divorced and they've got all kinds of legalese stuff on their website about suing for Fraud if they find out you've lied. So this website I'm on now, and I'll call this my warm-up website. As soon as I'm legally without a dickhead, I can join this other site and I should be ready to roll.
Here are the emails and my commentary, because I know that's why you keep reading. My fabulous commentary.
Email #1 - Hello. How are you doing today? Oh, fuck. This guy looks like a toad. He's 5'5" and likes Nickelback. Need I say more? Overall rating: 2
Email #2 - Hey you sound fun and genuine :) plus you wear heels yumm lol read my page and get in touch if interested in getting to know each other. He works in home health, not as literate as I would prefer, and says he's a romantic, touchy-feely guy. That means needy. Maybe I should take that little blurb out of my profile about wearing heels. Overall rating: 3
Email #3 - hi, how are you doing ?
do you believe in love at first sight?what about love at first email?
What guy uses emoticons? Gay. And no, I don't believe in love at first email, so I won't be emailing you back. Thin lips and has a really corny joke on his profile. Overall rating: 3Email #4 - Nice Profile and picture, check my profile out if you like hope to hear from ya What this guy has going for him is that he looks like LLCool J. But I'm still not trying to make that sociological statement of dating someone who isn't white. I've done it, and quite frankly, it's not worth the bullshit you have to deal with. Call me a chickenshit, but whatever. Overall rating: 7
Email #5 - How are you? HOLY FUCK this guy is hot. And he's only 30! Yes! I feel good about being 36 + 1!!!!! And, bonus, he's my type of guy! We're emailing right now. I'd rather be chatting with him, but I can't figure out how to chat with just him and block all the other dipwads. Overall rating: 8
All in all, not a complete washout. Stay tuned, motherfuckers.
1 comment:
You might want to give OkCupid a try as well, assuming you havent already-the usual chaff of dating sites, but I've had some "good" results.
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