Freakshow of the Day

Yep, i'm a clean but not too sober musician. I work in the health medical field. i social drink and smoke. 420 friendly but currently out. 170lb, looking for same or smaller cause larger women scare me. blu eyes brown hair. I don't have kids this week so i wanna play. I wanna get to know ya then maybe we can see where it goes. I'll meet you half way for a beer. send me a pic i'll send you mine.

Well, I feel a huge sense of relief to be on my way to singledom. Because this is yet another fine example of what's out there waiting for me.  I kind of like what I did last night with the deciphering, think I'll try something similar to it tonight, but from a woman's point of view (as that's my only point of view). Oh, wait, that's my entire blog. But yeah, I haven't done this to death yet, so I'll go with it.

The Steph translation and commentary:

Yep, i'm a clean but not too sober musician. - I'm a whore. All musicians are whores. As for the clean but not too sober, I'm not sure if he means that he's in recovery but fell off the wagon, or if his ass is clean but his brain is drunk.

I work in the health medical field. - As a janitor, because I hope there's no one out there in the medical field with this level of illiteracy. Or, this is a drunk posting.

i social drink and smoke. - As opposed to work drink and smoke? Church drink and smoke? Chores drink and smoke? Anyone who says this means that they are drinking and smoking on the regular.

420 friendly but currently out. - Read this as very specifically that either he's out and he wants you to provide the bud, or he just doesn't want to share his, but will share yours. I'll have to assume he smoked it all prior to posting this ad.

170lb, looking for same or smaller cause larger women scare me. - Jackass.

I don't have kids this week so i wanna play.- Nice. I get the impression that he probably does this when he has his kids, too.

I wanna get to know ya then maybe we can see where it goes. - He wants to find out what you'll share. If you share drama and heartache, it's a no go. If you share ass and herb, all is well.

I'll meet you half way for a beer. - That he will want you to buy.

send me a pic i'll send you mine. - Let's hope it's a better pic than the one he posted.

Geez, I am suddenly not feeling to optimistic about what's out there (but was I ever, really?). I have an 8 ball at work, you know, the old black cue ball looking thing with the floating thing in it, and you ask it questions? Sometimes I go to work and just decide to let the 8 ball dictate my day. Because we should all be so free spirited, or lazy, or unable to access a Ouja board at work (or too scared to, in my case), or unable to explain said Ouja board at work. I probably need to limit this 8 ball thing to one question per day, and just see what happens. I should probably also write my questions down, because I generally forget the question in about ten minutes and end up asking a similar question, thus probably fucking up my mojo. I probably shouldn't be so superstitious, but we've all got our weaknesses. I think that my superstitions usually end up screwed up, though. I was hanging out at my girlfriend's house on the Fourth of July, waiting for the neighborhood fireworks, and was gazing upon the star that I always wish on, thinking about all of the wishes over all the years I've sent to that star, kind of being nostalgic, thinking to myself where I've been, where I might be going, what's down the road for me. My girlfriend's husband pulled out his handy phone with all the handy apps and held the phone up to the star to determine exactly which star it was. Mercury. I've been wishing on a goddamn planet for all these years. No wonder none of that shit came true. Thanks for bursting my bubble, girlfriend's husband with the handy-dandy phone apps. Now my star-wishes are half-assed, because maybe I'm wishing on Saturn or something, and that doesn't count. Same thing for me asking the same question to the 8 ball. I think I'm cancelling myself out.

I don't even know how I got on this topic. Freakshow of the Day. Some half drunk dipshit posting stuff on craigslist. I don't know this guy, but I know a few guys like him, sadly. Yeah, that's what's out there waiting for me. No wonder I have no motivation to go rushing out into the dating world.