Freakshow of the Day

Three separate posts on the same topic - yes, that got my craigslist-trolling attention.

1) tuesday nights aren't usually the most exciting, but as i was walking home with my two roommates, you definitely made this past one memorable. You ran up to us, completely naked, and proceeded to say hello and "shake it" because "your roommate dared you." you had a great body and you must have been freezing, but you didn't show it ;) thanks for shaking up our night.
2 - same night) I think I've had a couple of encounters with that guy... he ran up to my girlfriend on [insert street name here] a few months ago, completely naked, just jerking himself, it's kind of weird and creepy, he had a weird smile to whole time. He also claimed it was a "dare" from his roommates... a couple weeks later he reappeared, completely naked again, but was promptly chased away by this guido who lives in my building.
3 - the next night) Holy shit! totally know who you are talking about. White, bald guy with good physique. My roommate and I were just smoking a cigarette on our porch around 3AM, and this guy walks up. He says hi, wants us to take picutres with him naked and takes his camera out. "Oh man, my roommates won't believe this. I did it for a dare," he says. We laugh because it's the strangest thing, so we take pictures with him. I go inside to get my camera to take pictures of him too. As I went inside he asked my roommate to show her boobs. She did because he just seemed drunk and stupid, and she didn't really care. I come outside with my camera and he asked me, a guy, to "show my boobs". I showed him my nipples cause wtf...why my nipples, I don't know. So we all three take pictures with him, swapping cameras and shit and he leaves. Strangest night ever, but the funniest.

Well, trolling around in downtown Richmond is a flasher. This is funny, and yet, not-so-funny, because I know how people like this think. I'm pretty sure the flasher doesn't have a roommate, he just needs a cover story to make him not seem like a future rapist. I wonder if he was completely-completely naked, or was he wearing shoes? Personally, I wouldn't walk around naked in public, what with my stretch marks and stuff, but if I were to walk around naked in public, I wouldn't go traipsing barefoot through the city of Richmond. Good god, the stuff that's on those sidewalks. So whenever I see one of these posts or something, I always wonder, what kind of shoes was he wearing? And that's a weird thing to think, but bear with me. I've walked around my house naked (blinds closed, mind you) and I've done this barefoot and with shower shoes on, and I don't even know why I had the shower shoes on. Yeah, I looked stupid, but I was home alone, so it was fine. It feels really odd to walk around naked with shoes on, even if they're just shower shoes.

And here's where the third post doesn't make sense. and this guy walks up. He says hi, wants us to take picutres with him naked and takes his camera out. "Oh man, my roommates won't believe this. I did it for a dare," he says. So was he naked when he walked up, and if so, where did his camera come from? Or, did he strip right there on the sidewalk, which seems like it would be even more awkward than just walking up to someone completely naked with a camera slung on your wrist with a little wrist strap? Or maybe it was a cellphone camera and he was just carrying it. That makes a little more sense. I'll have to assume the two dimwits who agreed to this were drunk, because WHAT THE FUCK? Who other than two drunk dimwits would agree to this shit? And what dude would show his nips to another man?????? Unless he's gay, but this guy doesn't sound gay. So again, what the fuck?!?

I get the whole streaking concept, and I must admit, I find it to be hilarious. Just like mooning is hilarious. Which I've never, ever done. Flashing, on the other hand, not so hilarious, because of the other activity that's usually taking place in hand. Literally. Although you don't normally see these people bare assed nekkid, because that's hard to explain when the cops show up. Flash with some clothes on and you can at least claim you were just taking a leak or some other story that no one will believe.

I guess we can call this guy flashing-in-the-streak, which has a kind of English ring to it, kind of like Goring-on-Thames or Knuckle-of-Moose. I've come up with my own male variant of moose knuckle--giraffe tongue. They're both long, purple and warm. At least, we hope for long. Anway, I'll fix it up even better. Flash-the-Steak. There. Oops, that's a typo. But I guess he is flashing the steak. Flash-the-Streak. There, fixed.

Freakshow of the Day. Thank you, craigslist, for this never ending supply of stupidity and perversion.