Freakshow of the Day

For your reading pleasure. Actually, not so much the ad, but my commentary that will surely follow.

"Hi hope everyone is good and thank for reading this . I am a married male who wife is unable to have any fun medical reason ."  

He goes on for a few more lines, not even that explicitly, either. So maybe he's not that much of a freakshow, at least not like the guy last night, or the night before (god, they all blend in after a couple of months of looking at this SHIT) who wants a woman who will wear a black ski mask whilst performing oral sex upon his manhood. That gentleman was kind enough to post pictures of his last encounter with his lady friend wearing said mask, I assume to demonstrate exactly how high his standards are set. I'll go ahead and address this now. According to the pictures that I viewed, as I've never actually seen anyone wearing a ski mask in person, other than some dumbass high school guys while they were skiing (imagine that), but anyway, wearing a ski mask whilst performing oral sex certainly distorts a woman's features, and not in a pretty way. I am left wondering: was this guy involved in some kind of robbery gone terribly awry? And then I'm left with my sick imagination to try to figure out exactly how awry any such robbery could have gone and how that whole thing could have happened. Or, is this some kind of fetish he might have developed in prison? The prison thing wouldn't be that unbelievable to me, because stuff happens in prison. And not much of it is pretty. I also had to wonder about the woman in the pictures, because who does that? Unless she was receiving some kind of compensation. She certainly didn't look upset, but I couldn't see much of her face due to the ski mask, so I don't know. I know how deviant stuff works in people's brains, and I understand the psychology of it all. But understanding the psychology of it all still doesn't remove the next element in my brain, which would be the "what the fuck is wrong with people" element?

Anyway, back to tonight's selection. I promise you on the batteries in my vibrator, I have not edited or changed any of the wording. All spelling and grammar is straight off the cut-and-paste. I'm tempted to email this jackass from my anonymous non-blog linked asshole email and ask if his wife is unable to partake in fun with him because she's comatose from marrying a moron. Because that's what I immediately assumed from reading this post. Or, or, or... she's convinced him that she can't have any fun because of a medical reason. Women will do that sometimes, and if you know she hasn't given birth lately, had surgery or going through chemotherapy or radiation, it's probably a lot of bullshit. I've used this excuse myself to get out of sex, namely by refusing to have sex because I was wearing a hard cast on my wrist. Oh, the bitching and whining and pouting that ensued. I'll just say that it's damn near impossible to feel hot and bothered when you're wearing a hard cast. If you doubt me, well, let's hook up at my house (or yours) and I'll whack the shit out of your wrist with a hammer, thus causing you to be in need of a hard cast. You can then test my premise for yourself.  Nothing can fix not feeling amorous when you have a cast, other than removal of the cast. Or removal of the husband. Check and check. What I really wanted to do was clunk him over the head with the cast. Just knock that bastard right out, and then we're done with the bitching and whining. But back to the matter at hand, the man with the wife who can't have fun due to a medical reason. I'll give homeboy a half a credit for at least being honest and admitting he's married. I'll have to assume that whomever answers him is probably as illiterate as he is, because only another illiterate person would not be scared off by that level of illiteracy. And I'm quite pleased that I managed to work in some variation of the word illiterate into one sentence three times. God, I rock out some wordsmithing.