Freakshow of the Day

Here it is.

"Hey there, I'm a college student from [deleted because I feel like being somewhat considerate tonight]. Work and school have really taken their toll on my personal life over the past few years and I'd really like to meet a fun woman to spend time with. I cannot provide everything a woman deserves in a relationship whilst completing my studies. Everyone deserves to have fun from time to time, though. Hopefully there is a real woman out there who is seeking a similar situation. I'm real, attractive, fit, healthy, fun, and I love to please my woman. If you're seeking someone to spend some time with once in a while, truly feel relaxed, and be extremely pleasured... send me a message!"

Okay, if you're a regular reader of my blog, or even semi-regular, you might have picked up on the fact that there are a few near-obsolete jackass-y words I use on a somewhat regular basis, because I think it's fun to mix stuff up. Old words, new words, that's the joy of what's in my brain. Did you pick up on one of my favorite words in his post, one of the words I like so much it's even a label? It's simply labelicious, which sounds kind of vulgar although for once, it's not meant to.

Oh my god, he used the word whilst. And the whole post is grammatically correct and free from spelling errors. This might be the man for me. Except (and there's always an except with me), he's only 20. That would mean that while I was out running around naked in pastures charging willy-nilly into electrified barbwire fences, in a little crossroads named Darlington Heights, this guy was... being born. Uhhhhh, Beavis. Yeah, unfortunately, he might be a little too young for me.

One of my girlfriends, this woman, she is a hot mess. And when I say hot mess, I mean in a supercharged, supersonic kind of hot mess way. She met a guy on x-box (I'm not making this up, I swear), fell into like with him (on x-box), met him at the beach and immediately moved him into her house. He's only 22. She's 42. Like I said, a hot mess. So now she has fallen out of like with this guy, but he moved into her house from Florida and can't move back for whatever reason. He is now living on her sofa and she's out running around with some other guy who is... 26. She was bitching and moaning about the whole situation and how immature this 22 year old guy is (duh), and another woman got involved in the conversation, like we tend to do, and tried to intellectualize the whole thing. Personally, I thought this was such a dumb move on my girlfriend's part that it really couldn't be intellectualized. The buttinski was discussing how frontal lobes don't even develop completely until a person is around 25, so that's why this 22 year old guy is acting like a complete child. It's his frontal lobe. I didn't bother to add that it could also be mommy issues, because I thought that was so apparent that it didn't need to be verbalized.  We were talking the other day, and she was discussing all of these younger guys that she runs around with, and I'm just like, how in the hell are you snagging all of these guys? I mean, I know the answer and all, but it was more of a theoretical kind of question. I'm sorry, but I just think someone who just got alcohol legal in the past few years might be a little too young. I do have some standards.

So my freakshow of the day isn't really a freakshow, unless you count using proper grammar and spelling on craigslist to be so highly unusual it qualifies as freakshow just because it's so out of the ordinary. I just got so super excited that someone else used the word whilst I couldn't help but to share.