Freakshow of the Day

Here we go:

I am seeking an attractive 18-25 year old female who enjoys shopping and being worshipped. I am the type of guy who will kiss my girls feet and do almost anything to make her happy, seriously. I would drive my girl and her friends around wherever she wants to go, out to eat, to a movie, whatever. I would come clean her house, wash her car and do her laundry. I will kiss her feet in front of her friends. I have my act together and all I need is the company of a sexy young lady. I am interested in something long term or just hanging out sometime. Please send me a picture and tell me about yourself.

Okay, so this isn't really a freakshow in the true meaning of the word freakshow, but more just sad. Oh my god, what is wrong with this guy? It's no wonder he can't get a date or anything. I think the title of this post should have just been "Really Clingy and Needy". Because that's what this is. Either this poor guy is so desperate for some female attention that he'll resort to this, or he's got some really serious issues. And the woman who ends up with him? Oh my. What a hot mess this could be. I want to email him and say, dude, grow a set. Please. If a woman wants to date a man with no balls, then she'll find a nice dyke.