Groupthink

Facebook groups. Since I love to make lists, here's a list of my facebook groups. I was going to put them in alphabetical order too, because I have a slight case of OCD, but then I was like, fuck it. Who cares? In my quest to stay somewhat anonymous on the www, I've removed the groups that are related to my profession, those groups that only have, like, three members and the groups that my friends have for their bidnizzes and stuff. Go away if you don't know what a bidniz is. And, yeah, my commentary to each group is attached, because I think my commentary is full of fabulosity and awesomeness. I was going to bullet it, but only douchebags bullet stuff.

Google it, b i t c h  - Yep, I've said this before. A couple of years ago you could go to Google Maps/Directions and type in New York to Paris and would get directions to jump in the Hudson River and swim to somewhere on the coast of France, and then make it from that point to Paris. It was hilarious. I hope the freakshow who did that got promoted.

I like your makeup...LOL JK, it looks like you got gangbanged by Crayola - We all know this woman or one just like her. The Ex is dating her.

Unsent Letters - What you wish you could say... - I have a couple of these letters. I wish I had the guts to send them, but things keep changing and the letters aren't so nice, so I keep them in reserve because they would be things that you really can't unsay.

Fresh Balls - No explanation needed. Fumunda's a bitch.

Anything About Guns - I AM Southern. I love guns. Big guns. Heavy artillery. No, for once I am not making a veiled reference to genitals, but I love those too, just to clarify. I'd love to be able to get my hands on a rocket launcher, just once in my life. This is also why not joining the military has been my only regret thus far in life.

Walgreens - love, love, love Walgreens. I don't know why, I just do. Best drugstore ever.

Using the Word "FUCK!" - Fuck yeah!

"Shitload" is a Standardized Unit of Measurement - Perfectly true.

Little Debbie - Crack to women everywhere who are premenstrual, postmenstrual, hormonal, and overall crazy bitches.

Don't Be An Asshole - No explanation needed. I have to remind myself of this periodically.

Bitches on a Budget - I've got this one hidden from my page because I really don't care about what is essentially a coupon bukkake.

Smart B*tches, Trashy Books - AKA girl porn.

Sweet Tea - Goes nicely with guns and ammo, especially when you're sitting on the porch and see a big assed 8 point buck roaming through the field and BOOM! Dinner hath arrived.

Country Style Donuts - Hands down, best doughnuts in Richmond. It's on Williamsburg Road, right around that gray area of urban decay that is leaving ghetto projects and moving into white trash East End.  Open 24 hours a day with a film of nicotine covering every surface that hasn't been wiped off in 10 years, from when you could smoke in restaurants. I am so disappointed in our tobacco lobby. Jesus Christ, this is our native crop. Get it together, Phillip Morris/Altria (fancy new name that doesn't sound like lung cancer).

ShitMyDadSays - Just saw a commercial for this - it's being turned into a TV show on CBS? I hate TV most days because it sucks. What happened to the good shit like Kung Fu movies and the Dukes of Hazzard?

shit talking -  I talk mad shit about everything. I talk shit about shit I don't even know about. And I do it well.

people who make an effort to stay in your life, no matter what happens♥ - Love ya'll!

www.peopleofwalmart.com -  Okay, this was funny when it first got started, but there are apparently so many freaks trolling through Wal-Mart that it's just gotten old.

Qdoba - Taco Bell goes upscale.

not getting raped by aroused donkeys - How does anyone not like this?

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil - I wonder sometimes if I know this guy. He might be the one referenced in the unsent letters thing. Or, he might be the dumbass dating the woman who looks like she got gangbanged by Crayola. I need to spend some serious time revising the type of men I tend to get involved with. Something is lacking in my brain about this.

Firehouse Subs - Subway goes upscale.

Extreme Pizza - Pizza Hut goes upscale. Bonus! They deliver downtown! Better than Bottom's Up, which I happen to think is overpriced and overrated. Last time I went to Bottom's Up my car got towed. Mad shout out to Marshall Brother's Towing in Richmond for giving one hell of a tow job.

McDonalds Sweet Tea!!!! - For when you are too lazy to make your own.

You don't just stop loving someone, either you never did or you always will - I really ponder the truth to this one.

oh, i didn't tell you? must of been none of your f*cking business - This is what I said to myself when I found out The Ex had hacked into my emails and fb account and gotten all big in the head, and I had to change all of my passwords to "strong" passwords.

I promise you will never meet anyone else like me, ever - Did I mention I'm awesome?

Flip Flops - I don't know why I joined this group, because I really prefer shower shoes. I really even prefer that they not have gotten lost in the Atlantic Ocean when I got all drunked up at the Polar Plunge and ran like a girl into the freezing cold surf, although I had no choice. That shit was like the human migration on the Serengeti. Class act all the way, right down to the shower cap I was sporting because when I tripped and fell like some crazed wildebeest, I didn't want that nasty February ocean water-pollution in my hair.

I ♥ Kissing - Except men who slobber.

YOU AINT GONE DO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT - You have to, have to, have to flex a little when you say this.

Maymont - Sentimental value to me. I'm so glad I didn't get married there, because then I'd never want to go back. Thank God for me having one small bit of common sense related to that marriage.

Perlys Restaurant - A tricky proposition for me since this is downtown and I can't fucking parallel park. Me parallel parking is about 59.674 rotations of three inches of back and forth while I turn the wheel as far right and left as it will go. It looks like some shit that should be a skit on SNL. So either I have to try to convince someone that they want to go there to eat for lunch and then bum a ride, or try to get there around 11ish so I can find a pull-in parallel parking spot on a street nearby that's not scheduled for street cleaning. If you know the Richmond street cleaning schedule, this is not an easy thing to accomplish, because the streets that aren't scheduled for cleaning are packed full of cars that would not normally be parked on those streets.

Five Guys Burgers and Fries - McDonald's goes upscale. Kind of.

There is no "I" in team. But there are three "u"s in shut the fu*k up - Can I refer some of my co-workers to this group?

Wikipedia - Lunchtime crack.

102.1 The X - Not really because they talk too damn much. The whole "Smell My Face" thing is old, and really, I don't know if he could pay me to sit on his face. I need something good looking down there. I've always wondered if I'm just really dirty, or are they talking about something else and I just don't get it?

Coldwater Creek - Best ever internet clearance site. I just ordered a ton of clearance clothes from them, then when I got my packages, nothing fit because I've lost weight. Bonus! Except I can't return ANY of it because it was clearance. Not so bonus.

Wanda Sykes - Who doesn't love some Wanda?

The Boathouse - Where I will most likely go when I'm ready to pick up some rich, moneyed Brandermill/Woodlake divorced dad. Then he'll figure out that he can't handle me and that will be that. Back to my craigslist peep show.

I have more, but I'm tired of this already. I just realized I don't have any porn favorites. I must be slacking. Anyway, you've got my facebook essence.